Ok. so there's been a little commotion raised in the Dewan Rakyat about the way "History books do not reflect the nations' past
". Certain people and events that were a part of the fabric of Bolehsian history, have now been deemed "insufficiently interesting" to qualify for a place in our school textbooks.
The issue was raised by the venerable MP Dr Weekas Ong (GN Blackwater), who wondered what happened to the good old days ,and why people like Patrick Teoh and Mano Maniam had been writen out of history.
A very important point Dr Weekas. But no worries, the Education Ministry's Parliamentary Secretary, Piko Maladev, had this base expertly covered:
"...History textbooks currently in use were based on a revision of the school's syllabus, carried out in stages by the ministry since 2006," she said. What's more, "the syllabus is based on proven historical facts obtained from research by historians,academics and individuals
As if no one was convinced of this, Maladev also explained that, "Research showed that students were not interested in history, they had difficulty understanding facts and were only memorising information without appreciating the subject.We decided to consolidate the facts to make the subject less boring.
Everything clear? If not ,then you must have been one of those who were asleep at the back of the class during lessons. Not much point in asking if it was anything to do with the way the subject was taught, or if there were sufficient access to materials and supplementary texts for teachers and students . No? Just a thought.
Anyway, I 'm writing about this because i think the EM's honourable eminance is right, It's about time we made history less complicated and more 'happening'.
It's time for Bolehean History the Remix.
Perhaps it could go something like this:
First there was King Parameswara . He was a wonderful leader who made everything he touched really great. After being very busy defeating all the forces of the dark empire and banishing them to Middle Ear
th, King Parameswara was tired and needed to take it easy and relax for awhile.
He had a pet baby deer and he used to take it along to picnic and frolic under an old Ipoh tree by a rivermouth.
As time went by more and more people heard about this place and started to go there quite regularly.The once quiet pristine river bank became crowded and trampled and the river became very muddy.
" Even though it this idyllic location has been thrashed, many people still seem to like this spot, for the people....they keep on coming," observed, the Mighty King P.
"I, will build a Picnic Centre here .There shall be lots of food stalls that do Seafood Tom Yam,Mee Goreng, and even Burgers and drinks and that kind of thing. Then people wouldn't have to worry about bringing their own food.It would be more convenient for everyone.I will build it and the people will come" said the king. (Thus was born the idea of convenience food.
"I will name this place The Muddy Rivermouth Picnic Spot and Seafood Centre," said the great leader. Except for the 'Seafood centre' part, which with the rest of it was a bit of a mouthful, everyone agreed it was a good idea.
The food stalls were built, banners hung up, and people from miles around, and even further away than that, flocked to the Muddy Rivermouth to have their picnic. Word of this wonderful picnic paradise and seafood centre, spread like wildfire. It became the world's first ever tourist attraction
Despite the overcrowding, the escalating cost of tom yam, and the odd petty crime and the serious lack of parking places, the humble Muddy River Picnic spot and eating place was a great sucess. It eventually became the happening city we live in today.
King Parameswara had two children, a boy and a girl. He named them Bawi and Cindy.They both grew up to be very handsome and very beautiful.They were both blessed with magical singing voices. Whenever there was any hardship or strife in the land, whenever the nation was in any sort of difficulty, Prince Bawi and Princess Cindy would sing, and everyones troubles would melt away because their voices were so beautiful and lovely.
Prince Bawi was such a great, brave and courageous singer that he even won the extremely challenging Akademi Fantastica Singing Championships, where all the best singers in the land get together to do a sort of Rockstar elimination thing. Bawi was the best and never got eliminated and he won!
Prince Bawi is truly awesome and handsome, and all the ladies like him too. He invented Television and recently pioneered the first live television broadcast of a Boyfriend and Girlfriend splitting up. It was him and his ex, but it was a cool idea and it is going be made into a regular reality TV show.
The beautiful Princess Cindy found and married her Prince Charming. He is a brilliant , dashing and successful business tycoon, And also a kind of a prince. His mysterious moniker is, the "Datuk Formerly Known As Symbol" .Together he and his beautiful bride pioneered another reality TV show called Extreme Weddings-
based on their own gorgeous faitytale fantasy wedding which was held at the most glamourous shopping centre in the country. (Putting many Cecil B. de Mil productions to shame).
Despite the tiny glitch of not being able to be whisked away on a horse driven carriage (-no horses allowed inside the shopping centre
) , the show was a a history making success of epic proportions. A marriage made in shoppers Heaven, watched by more than half the population of Kuala Lipis.
And they all lived happily ever after.
That about covers all the Bolehsian history from the very begining of time until the present day.
All the names that used to be in the school textbooks for Bolehsian History can now be published in a separate occasional supplement with the TV guide, with the catchy title of Astro/NOVIP ( Not Very Interesting People).This way, no one gets left out.